No one knows..

Alright, it's been a while and I know I don't have followers so it doesn't really matter anyway. I've been debating on posting this blog for a long time now and I can't hold it in anymore. 

I'm a very insecure person to be honest. I've never really been proud of myself or loved myself completely. I'm concerned with what people think/say about me and I very often find myself paranoid in public when people are laughing and happen to look in my direction. With that said, I guess it could all be a misunderstanding but I doubt it because it's been going on too long for it not to be.

I have only seen one of my friends once this summer. I saw, of course through Facebook, that the rest of the group of my friends have been hanging out a lot over this summer. Now don't get me wrong, I don't expect to be invited to every single thing that happens.. But I'm seriously getting the message that I am the unwanted friend. The friend people are friends with because they feel bad for me. 

I came to this conclusion after one of my friends grandmas passed away. We had a group text from another to let us know. We thought it'd be nice if we all attended the ceremony to support our friend during the hard time. I waited for the time and place for the viewing to come through the group message as it was still undecided by the family. I never received the text and found the following day,also on Facebook, that the ceremony had already occurred and my friend thanked those who went on our group page. Now I don't know who all went out of our group but I had no idea what happened. It hurt. A lot. When I get hurt, I'm more of a suffer in silence kind of person. I've just stayed quiet since then really. And that was early June. It is now mid August and I have heard nothing from anyone. Not a hello.. Nothing, except from the one friend I saw once, for lunch.. And I didn't really want to bring it up then. 

Somehow I have said something or done something wrong to piss everyone off. If one of you read all of this and you think I'm wrong or I'm misunderstanding something will you let me know? Please just say something to me.. Because as of right now I don't feel like I have any of you anymore. I'm dead to the world and it hurts to feel so alone. 

The insanely short amount of time it takes for summer to go by

Summer is flying by.
I did pass my Calculus class that I was so concerned about. WITH A B!
I did pass my final test at the fire station. WITH AN A!
I turned 19 and my awesome room mate surprised me by driving to my house from San Antonio! 
Walker comes down in a little over a week, I'm very happy and excited for that! We have lots planned.
School starts soon and I'll be moving in with my room mate into our new apartment in College Station! AHHH! This whole growing up thing is happening too fast!
This whole summer is going by too fast.

I don't want it to end!

A New Title

As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, I have been taking a rookie class at the Volunteer Fire Station down the street from my house. My dad was a volunteer for the same station for about 22 years. He ended his career there in 2007 or 2008. Needless to say, I'm not necessarily new to the station. Many of the people I grew up around are still volunteering.

Last Saturday was our first skills training day, a day where we take the trucks out to the local high school and practice what we've learned. The temperature when we first arrived at about 8:00am was already reaching into the high 80's with 87% humidity and it was cloudy. As the day went on those clouds drifted away and the sun was shining bright by high noon. It only got hotter. For those of you who have never tried on bunker gear, it is heavy and it is hot. When you are in full PPE, you are unable to feel even the slightest bit of a breeze. It can get very uncomfortable very fast. First, we created a makeshift roof using 3 beams and plywood, setting it up at an angle to practice using the roof ladder while we practice vertical ventilation. Vertical ventilation allows us to let the heat rise out of the house through the roof, essentially cooling the inside a bit while it is still on fire. There's definitely a noticeable difference in temperature inside of the structure once this is done correctly. Anyway, we practiced climbing on the roof ladder to cut a ventilation hole using a chainsaw and later on chopping into the roof with an ax. This was my first time actually participating in training as an actual rookie. The instructors around me were the people I grew up around. Many of them were shocked at my ability to get the job done as quickly as I did. They helped me out with pointers and suggestions as they did with all of the other trainees and cheered me on. Every once in a while someone would say to me "Don't let those boys beat you! Show them how it's done!" and I did. I showed those guys how to put a halligan through a roof and cut that damn vent! It was fun.

When the day was over I continuously received uplifting and congratulatory comments on my work through the heat and humidity of the day. During the following class on Tuesday, we went through our powerpoint going over the types of buildings and the building materials we will run into. At the end of class Captain Johnson, our instructor, reminded us that there would be someone in the class who would be chosen to become the Class Captain. Another Captain brought up 2 red helmets which signify Captain and Lieutenant statuses. Captain Johnson first called the person who received the title of Captain saying that he was very impressed with his effort throughout skills day and his encouragement of everyone else. The newly named Class Captain turned in his black helmet for the red one, leaving the second red helmet unclaimed. After a few words he called my name, giving me the title of Class Lieutenant. Growing up in the fire station, my dad was a captain for a while. I did not expect this in the slightest so soon. To be given this title so soon is not only really exciting, but it's a huge honor and I'm not going to make him regret choosing me as Class Lieutenant. 

It's more than just a red helmet... It's a world of responsibilities. Promoted to Class Lieutenant tonight. Couldn't be more honored or proud to be doing what I'm doing. Thank you.

Keeping it short and sad.

Lately I've been in a rather deep rut that I'm having trouble getting out of. I don't know what it is or what exactly has brought this on but it's been going on for a while now and I am more than ready to get out of it.

Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's anxiety. I haven't the slightest idea. It's like all of the sudden I have come down with a serious case of depression or something. I'm always tired, I honestly don't remember the last time I can say I was happy all day long, I don't have much motivation to do anything. I've been feeling ridiculously lonely during all of this as well. I received awesome news this past week and I hardly reacted to it. The fact that I've bummed so much lately (so much so, to the point where not even getting into the college program that I've been wanting to get into excites me) makes me even more bummed. It's a vicious cycle and I need to figure out how to break it.

I'm asking for help... please help me? I want my old, happy self back.

I'm lost.
I'm scared.
I need help.
I don't want to feel this way anymore.
I want to be happy again.

I'm just your average girl.

Starstruck!

Aight, so I'm not super awesome at keeping this deal updated. It makes for more interesting and exciting posts though right?
Since my last post... I've been to all of my doctors appointments. Everything came up fine and dandy. Cancer free! 
My thyroid is still larger than average but the doc says that it's just big. Nothing wrong with it for now. I have 4 little nodules settled in on each side of my thyroid. I hope they stay happy in their little home because I'd rather not have to go through another biopsy. Having a large needle stuck in your throat 5 times with your head cocked back to where it pretty much rests under your shoulder blades is not the most comfortable position to be in. Especially when you don't have a giraffe's neck or you don't just happen to be a contortionist. 

The first few classes at the fire station have been interesting/ entertaining so far. We were issued our shitty, old, worn out training bunker gear. Finding every piece that fit properly was an adventure in and of itself, that's for sure! Now, each class we have to take our gear upstairs with us and if someone rings the bell we stop, drop, and roll  whatever we are doing and have to put it all on in under 2 minutes. Which, not to toot my own horn, is fairly easy for me seeing as I've been playing around in bunker gear since I was little. So station life is going well.

On May 18th, I flew to South Carolina to spend some much needed time with this awesome guy. Since I had missed his birthday I brought a few gifts with me. 3 puzzles from myself, which he figured each one out in no time, weirdo, as well as a very interesting, and funny bathroom reader from my parents which also contained money. It briefly discusses random scientifically studies that the government likes to spend millions of dollars on. Some of them are absolutely hysterical.

I had a wonderful total of 10 days with him. We visited some of his friends, hung around with his parents, baked some pretzels (yummy!), got crafty and made things, fixed a car's brakes... well, that was mostly him and we spent time on the lake. I purchased a 7-day South Carolina fishing license, and for some reason that excites me. I just think it's cool! Don't judge me. I caught my first 2 fish ever! A blue gill and a perch. No, I did not eat them. 

Memorial day, we went tubing and water skiing. Both of which I found very entertaining to watch as well as participate in.

Crazy Memorial Day picture... just because!

Walker water skiing

 

That's me tubing!

Unfortunately, our time together had to end. Of course I cried and am still working on cheering up from leaving, but I don't regret any moment at all. Spending time with him was my main concern on the trip and that was well covered. We are trying to work something out so that we can see each other again before the summer ends.

Since I have returned home, I've finally decided which route I will be taking in college. I will be receiving a degree in "University Studies" in the College of Architecture with a minor in Business and Art, concentrating on either traditional or digital media. After completing the 4 year program, I will continue schooling through their Masters program which turns out is the program that is sending their students to Disney and Pixar. I no longer have to deal with the stress of attempting to get into an extremely competitive program with very limited spots that even some of the most talented people are rejected from. There are other ways to get where I want to be which was a big issue in my mind not too long ago. I was convinced that there was only one way to get there and that there was no way I would ever be able to make it through. I've proved myself wrong and I am oh so glad that I did!

I was also reunited with my college room mate for the weekend. We've been away from each other for a month and we were both starting to realize how much we actually missed one another. We went to George Strait's last Texas Concert of his last Tour! It was definitely a rather significant moment in Texas Country Music History. We were able to adventure around back stage and oh my gosh it was so exciting even if we did get off to a rough start to the day. 

We arrived at the Alamodome about an hour early. Well, outside it was sunny and about 93 degrees with high humidity. Everyone was sweating buckets. When they eventually opened the gates we decided to go stand in line for shirts knowing that they would ALL be gone if we didn't snag them before the concert. Going from the heat outside into a sardine type situation in a smaller area where they were selling the shirts was not the best of ideas considering I had not eaten anything. Our plan was to grab our shirts and then go get food. Plans changed. All I remember was feeling really hot, then thirsty, my ears started ringing, then I couldn't see so I leaned against Mollie and the next thing I know, I'm being held up by my room mate and some complete strangers. I freaking passed out. Some lady shoved a piece of gum in my mouth and another lady was feeding me skittles. Another man came to me and carried me to a less crowded corner where I could actually breathe. They brought a wheelchair out and wheeled me off to first aid where I pretty much just sat around until I was feeling better. I'm extremely thankful for my room mate and the people around me who helped. 

Poor Mollie. All 3 times that I've ever passed out have been with her. She's such a sweetheart. I felt horrible and still do because we weren't able to grab any shirts.. gee, good thing she's a family friend of George Strait's. They can just run to the warehouse not far from their house and get some. I have some of the coolest friends ever. Over all the concert was amazing, and while we were back stage I met George's son and we even saw Miranda Lambart. Both of us freaked about that. Apart from passing out, I had a great time.

Myself and Mollie after THE Cowboy rode away!

My Calculus class starts tomorrow at the local Community College and then I'm having dinner with my softball coaches. I'll have to update everyone on how that goes as well!

I am exhausted.

I am still crazy busy this summer!

I should be going to bed, it's 2AM.

I just had to write about it all!

I am just your average girl!

Well, I've done it!

I'm a probie!
For those of you who don't know what that is, I'm a probational fire fighter aka a rookie. I may be mopping floors and doing the handy work/grunt work around the station for a while but that's just how life goes in a station. You get to participate in training and such but you have to work your way to the top! I start on the 14th and I'm incredibly excited. I've been told that rookie classes take about 3 months to complete at the station I am volunteering for. That's basically the whole summer, but the whole reason I'm volunteering is to see if this is what I really want to pursue as a career! So this will be my test run. My summer JUSTstarted today and it looks like I'm already crazy busy with it!

So lets see...

May 13th- Doctor's appointment for thyroid
May 14th- First day of rookie classes & Walker's birthday
May 15th- Doctor's appointment follow up for thyroid & get together/ bday party with friends I havent seen since BEFORE CHRISTMAS DB
May 16th- Doctor's appointment check up
I think there might be a dentist appointment in there somewhere too 

May18th-28th - Spending time with my boyfriend in SC! <3 <3 <3

June 3rd- July7th - 1st Summer 5 week session [Calculus1] Mondays-Thursdays starting at noon
June 10-28- baby sitting my coach's dogs at her house while she's in Greece and Italy

I don't really have much planned for July yet... maybe move in to our new condo with my room mate! We'll see! Probably do some exciting stuff for my birthday maybe. Even with being busy this summer I still am going to try to find time to draw and work on my art as well. It's something I'll never get enough of!

Anyway, like I said, I'm super excited to get started and see if this is truly what I want to do. If so, I'll attend Texas A&M and study fire sciences to continue my career!

There are times when I feel so incredibly lost...

...I just don't know what to do.

All I have is art... all I've ever done is art...
and I've been dreaming for the longest time.


But today I woke up. I seriously thought about it and my dream job is literally, one of the hardest to even think about getting. For a long time I've wanted to work at Disney as a character designer or an animator or something. Today I came to terms that I could not possibly meet all of their standards. I'm not a super fantastic artist like so many other people. They have tons of options to choose from how could I ever catch their eye.

I'm transferring next semester and I haven't got any clue as to what I want to do with my life. I'm going to be a sophomore in college... and I don't know what I want to do. I'm usually the optimistic person in these situations, but lately, I just can't be. I'm so lost. Everyone around me knows where they are going in their future and I am the only one left who hasn't a single clue. I'm so scared that I'll never find the job that makes me happy. Sure I'd love to be a stay at home mom, but until that day comes I'd rather be able to provide for myself and significant other if that is the case. What if I can't?

I am clueless.
I am lost.
I am scared.

I'm just your average girl.

Hello World! It has been quite a while!

Wow I haven't been keeping up with this blog like I said I was. Woops. Ah, well, time for some updates! This is gonna look like a really long post but there are lots of pictures!

Alright so Spring Break was pretty chill. Walker came down to visit for the week and we ran around doing and seeing some cool things like going to NASA and hanging out at the beach. (It was still WAY too cold to even touch the water)

Our first day together we didn't really know what to do. This is us brainstorming.

We visited my dad's offices. He teaches Offshore Safety Management for people that work on oil rigs and stuff. He has simulators and he had to fix a mouse because it was spazzing out. Needless to say Walker and I enjoyed pressing all the buttons on the simulators and the sound board to make sound effects in the room. Lots of buttons to press that make noises and flash. It was highly entertaining for the both of us... even though I tend to do it frequently.

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I don't remember what day it was, but I had been wanting to go to our park and throw the softball around for a while. Walker and I decided to do that for a little while and then walk one of the bike/running trails. We kept seeing small trails that went off the main path and decided to follow one back into the woods until we happened upon this little sight. There was another little hut type thing off to the left of this one and a wheel barrow with some trash or something in it. I was instantly creeped out and was ready to get out of there. I don't know if someone built these to creep people out on purpose or if someone actually lived in them but we didn't stay long.

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Walker had never been to a rodeo so I figured, why not take him to one of the biggest around? So I did. We attended Rodeo Houston 2013 and watched Kenny Chesney perform. Afterwards we took a ride on the Ferris Wheel. It was kind of late so that was the only ride we did that night. It's the best time to go on the Ferris Wheel at the rodeo because all of the carnival lights are on, not to mention the rest of Houston is all lit up.

 

We went back to the carnival the next day to hit up all the other rides we didn't get to. We played carnival games and ate some delicious fried oreos, a fried brownie and even tried a fried poptart. SO HEALTHY I KNOW. We won several stuffed animals at the carnival games. He then decided he was going to bungee jump. He's waiting in line in this picture. He is crazy...

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The first time he was down here we didn't make it to NASA Johnson Space Center so I made sure we did this time! I'm a big Space nerd and he's into science so this place was perfect for the both of us! We walked around, saw a video and went on a couple of tours before heading down to the beach. At the beach, we laid out for a while before it got too cold, had some snacks and enjoyed the sun while it was still up. We sculpted a few things in the sand leaving Whinnie the Pooh behind.

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We had a busy day the next day. I told him we would go to the shooting range, so we did. We shot at a few different targets with my .22 Henry Rifle for a while, my dad had his new gun he was figuring out and one of the guys from the fire station brought along his new pistol. Walk complained a little about my sights but they work for me so... oh well. He didn't do too bad though! He kept shooting a little high but he got the hang of it.

I always talk about College Station. I love it there and I can't wait to be there myself. A&M has always been so much fun to me. After a few discussions with my parents and myself, Walker had become interested in seeing the campus for himself! My dad and I gave him a small tour of A&M showing him the main buildings that he'd be interested in such as the math buildings, engineering, those types of things. I told him about many traditions and my dad had some neat stories about what he experienced when he went to school there to go with the explanation of the traditions. Many of the buildings weren't around when my dad was there so he was able to give us kind of a look back on the old A&M. We also attended an Aggie Softball game. One of my favorite activities. We attended the first SEC game of the Softball season and we were able to sit behind the "Sugar Daddies". These guys are an absolute riot. They constantly heckle during the game and try to distract the other team by yelling at them asking where they got their bows, or if they didn't have one, where it was. I recommend going to an A&M Softball game when you get the chance. You won't be bored.

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Well, all good things must come to an end sometime.. Spring break ended and saying good bye was tough. But it's not the last time we will see each other. In fact summer is coming up and we already have our plans! 

I've been finding myself struggling more and more in school and in college it had only become worse. I have always had a hard time with focus while reading and comprehending what I just read. If I tried to read I would almost instantly become distracted or I would reread the same sentence or paragraph over and over and just not get anywhere with it. I was recently placed on some ADD medicine and from what I can tell, it's been working. All of my grades have gone up a significant amount and I'm extremely proud of myself because I can actually finish things now. School still isn't a breeze for me, but it has made it a hell of a lot easier to deal with assignments and completing my work.

There is a motorcycle that literally never moves in front of our dorm. It is ALWAYS taking up one of the best spots for our dorm and makes everyone angry because there ARE spots designated for motorcycles right around the corner from the door. Upon my return from spring break this is what that motorcycle looked like. I'd like to applaud the person who had the guts to do this. They need an award or something. Everyone loves you now whoever you may be.

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I went home for Easter weekend. We were getting ready to go to a crawfish boil when my dad took Dot, my dog, out so she could go to the bathroom before we left. He came across this little guy which Dot, being the genius she is, ran RIGHT by him. His back legs were injured and he was just dragging them behind him, using his front legs to inch around on the rock. He was a brave little dude, sitting there, threatening us with his tiny little hiss. We managed to find a small box to put him in and take him to the Texas Wildlife Center where they rehabilitate wild animals to release back into the wild. He was put into good hands. I know opossums are not good friends and carry a bunch of diseases but the babies are so cute and so small.

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Lately we've had some crazy weather down here in Galveston. One day it will be absolutely gorgeous and warm outside. Perfect to spend some time at the beach without getting cold. Tanning time!

 And then the next day will be winter temperature along with buckets of rain.

It's been going back and forth like this for a couple of weeks now. TIME TO DECIDE AND STICK WITH IT WEATHER. C'MON NOW.

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Today! I went on our Biology field trip. My friend asked for a video of what we've been up to so this pretty much explains what we did! Sorry for the awkward close up. 

In the net that I mentioned in the video, we ended up catching a bunch of small squid, several fish, a blue crab and some shrimp! 

Yay little squid!

This is the same little guy in the two pictures above. He was actually really pretty, he had blue and yellow markings along his face and he was shiny in the sun!

There's our blue crab hanging onto a shrimp. I guess he was hungry!

A fish surrounded by some little squids, the squid were really entertaining to watch swim around in the water

You can kind of see the crab at the bottom and a squid or two swimming around :)

There was also a boat fire that broke out while we were on the water. We heard them calling over the radio and then we saw the smoke. 

I looked it up earlier when I got back to my room and this is the short little article I found. No bad news so far! Except for the ship of course...

Being in Galveston, we see a lot of cruise ships all of the time and today a Disney ship was in the port! pretty neat. They have a giant Goofy hanging off the back of the ship like he is painting.

I'm a teenager.

I'm a college student.

I've been up to a lot of things.

Today has rocked so far.

I'm just your average girl.

All-American Excitement

So today I was dragged out of bed at about 8:30 to travel up to College Station for an open house type deal to hear about the program I would like to transfer into. It is called VizLab and is Texas A&M 's version of an art program held in the College of Architecture. It began in 2008 and is a very competitive program to get into. So we drove the hour and a half dri e to College Station this morning about 30 minutes later than we had planned. I wasn't in the best of moods seeing as I have not been getting a sufficient amount of sleep and not sleeping well. 

The first half of the day was not appealing to me at all. It was all business. I was not happy or entertained. We decided to also attend the Aggie Softball game later in the day. We went and parked at about 1:00 and had a couple hours before the game started. It was the perfect opportunity for one exhausted, moody teenager to take a nap and of course I did not let that chance slip by. I woke up just in time for game time and we headed into the stands. I chomped on a giant dill pickle and munched on some popcorn while enjoying the game along with the yells and hollering from the boyfriends of the team. I suggest y'all go to an A&M Softball game when you get the chance! It was a double header today, we had the opportunity to stay and watch a second game. However, it was already rather chilly and pretty windy so we decided we would go to Aggieland Outfitters and then Layne's Chicken Fingers before heading home. 

WELL!!! 

During the game I had come across Amanda Scarborough's Instagram while flipping through some tags and do I followed her. She's one of my favorite players ever. She played at A&M when I was younger and ended up becoming an All-American pitcher. I SAW HER AT THE GAME AND JUST ABOUT DIED YOU GUYS. We were walking towards the gate when a small group of people caught my eye. They were talking to AMANDA!!! I freaked out. I was totally like a little kid in a candy shop. I was SO excited! I waited patiently, literally trying to keep it cool on the outside. She acknowledged I was there and I introduced myself! We had a short little conversation, you know, where are you from, did you play, those kinds of questions. AND I GOT A PICTURE WITH HER AND SHE TOTALLY JUST COMMENTED ON IT!! After she took the picture she asked if I was on Facebook and to tag her, I can't figure out how to tag her on Facebook without being her friend but I did tag her on Instagram! Ahhhhhhh!!! I'm still so excited about the whole thing and the fact that she just commented on it makes it even MORE AWESOME! So it's safe to say the second half of the day was totally amazing.

Amanda and I! 

AAAAHHH SHE COMMENTED ON MY INSTAGRAM PHOTO! 

I'm a teenager.

I'm a college student.

I'm still freaking excited about this whole thing.

I'm literally still squealing about it.

I'm just your average girl.

Just a few motivational quotes to help you get through the day.

Get a Backbone.

This is going to be a rather short post but hopefully it will make you think as well.

Check out this video featuring Arian Michael Foster, an American football running back for the Houston Texans of the National Football League.

Arian lists what he stands for, what keeps him going through his professional career as the Houston Texans running back.

(worth watching!)

I just saw this video and it sparked a thought in my mind. 

I can't really live for myself, if I did, I feel that it would be so much harder for me to feel like I have a purpose. I want to live for the people around me, I want them to realize how much they mean to me without having to receive anything in return. I want to live for my friends, I want to live for my family, I want to live for my job. When I become a firefighter, that's kind of the mentality you have to have anyway. If I'm not around to do this job, that's one less chance for someone to survive. I know a lot of you probably think that this isn't really a good way to live, but some people, like me, have to think like that. I want to be strong for someone who is not having a good day or who can't be strong. I'm also a bit conflicted in the fact that I also want someone to be strong for me too when I'm feeling weak and sometimes I don't let that happen when I need it to. My friends and family mean the world to me and I could not have gotten this far without them. That is an extremely cliche thing to say but it is 100% true. And I want to thank all of you for being there to support me on my worst days. 

I stand for my family.
I stand for my friends, who supported me through the hardest times.
I stand for the ones who can't fight.
I stand for those who are lost, the ones that can't find their way out of the smoke.
That's what I stand for.
What do you stand for?
Get a backbone.


I'm a teenager.
I'm a college student.
I found my backbone.

I'm just your average girl.
"It's not because of that, and it's not because of money, Work's in my blood and I [do it] 'cause I'm hungry."

New Suite Mate with a Side of AWKWARD

So I was trying to be nice and give this girl the benefit of the doubt. She's not my room mate after all... Let me give you a little history. 

After our previous suite mate, who we all got along with really well due to the fact that we bonded during the summer through our SAIL program, left this semester, we were unaware of the situation our room had been put in. We were unsure if we would demote ourselves from the Fantastic 4 to the 3 Musketeers or if we'd have another being in our humble abode of chaos. (PSA: We are not boring to be around when we are all together) No one had been notified by any means, email, phone call, text message, facebook message, nothing. We all half expected to walk into our 4-person dorm room after returning from a wonderful, month long Christmas break with one empty bed. 

Chelsy, my hysterically entertaining suite mate who I met during the summer program, was the first to return to our temporary living space. She arrived completely expecting to have a half decorated room. This is not what she walked in to. The other side of the room where our previous room mate had stayed was occupied. Things on the desk, clothes in the closet, television on the stand and bed made. Let me say again, there was NO knowledge of this new person to any one in this dorm room. 

--MEANWHILE--
Mollie, my crazy room mate, and I met up and had dinner then drove the rest of the way to the campus together. We got there later that evening. Mollie was also in the summer program along with Chelsy and I. We noticed there were still 4 names on our door. What...? Who is this stranger that NO ONE had any idea about!? She clearly was not in the room and neither was Chelsy. Mollie and I unloaded our cars and started unpacking our clothes and things. While we had bags and boxes of stuff scattered around the room as we made it look like home again, the new meat walked in. She didn't say much of anything. A few minutes later she walked in, looking around our room she hesitantly stated that our room was "rather interesting" as if we have super weird stuff hanging around our room. False. That is not the case. We have a lot of posters and our room is epically awesome. Sorry, we like color other than a dull eggshell wall. Later on Chelsy came in and told us a little bit about her. She also enlightened us that she bumped the A/C up to 77 at one point. We were going to have problems if that kept occurring. 

She's older than us by a few years. She's quiet for the most part except when she comes and shuts our door because she can barely hear our music. I'm not understating or exaggerating by any means. I don't know what else she does besides sit in the room and read her school books all day. I really think the only reason they picked to room her with Chelsy is that they are both Marine Biology majors.
One night we went into Chelsy's room to say hi to our ex-room mate/ suite mate over Skype. We noticed that she sleeps with a bible beside her bed and a verse written on a whiteboard over her bed. I'm not saying this is a bad thing, I guess it was just really unexpected. As I mentioned before, she likes to think our music is too loud and come shut the door even when her door is shut all day. I'm not too sure that she even listens to music. 

The entire reason I'm writing this blog is because of what occurred earlier tonight. I've been in my room, lounging around all day, drawing and stuff. Mollie went home for the weekend and Chelsy stayed out last night and had not returned until late. This evening I ended up leaving the door open for a little bit. Not the best idea I guess. Newbie took the chance to just come chill in the room and start questioning me about my life. Normal questions actually, I was alright with answering them. However, I am shy when it comes to new people so my answers were pretty short and concise which might have made me come off as a bit of a bitch. At least I admit to it. She asked the questions you would normally ask when getting to know another college student, you know, what majors, what do you want to do, do you like classes... that kind of stuff. I can talk and draw at the same time. She decided that she wanted to come draw with me. What was I gonna say? "No, you can't come sit in the same room and draw." No. She brought in some paper and started drawing. She asked if I had any colors. Of course my new Prismacolor markers were sitting in the wide open. I wasn't going to allow her to use them because, 1 they are brand new and 2 they are pretty freakin expensive. Keep in mind I had been drawing all day and was getting a bit tired of it. I started checking out the internet, seeing what was up. She watched over my shoulder the whole time questioning each thing I was doing. THAT'S what bugged me. After sharing a couple videos I climbed onto my bed and continued messing around with my computer. She took the time to start messing with the things on my desk and picked up my sketch book. I new she was going to flip through it so I politely asked her not to look through it. She then proceeded to flip through every page and ask me questions about each one. Some of which were kind of uncomfortable to explain. AUGH. The whole experience was rather awkward. I really had to vent about it. Interesting story though right?


I'm a teenager.
I'm a college student.
I'm not sure that I like our new suite mate so far.
#newsuitemateproblems

I'm just your average girl.

Spring Semester Day 1

Today is my first day back to classes since winter break. Of course I haven't been able to get over my cold that I got from being in South Carolina with a sick boyfriend and of course it is super cold and very wet outside and of course I live on the windiest island in existence! I have one more class today which is my political sciences class. This morning I attended my Health and fitness class with the same coach I had over the summer and last semester. We will be completing challenges such as changing our eating habits for a week, and improving our cardiovascular health and stamina. Basically it's another health class kind of similar to the one we had in high school. My second class of the day was Texas History where the professor just decided today to mention to the freshmen in the class that his class will be difficult for freshmen because it is an upper level class and the readings are a little more in depth and complicated. It might be easier if our brains were a little more developed. 17 out of the 30 students in the class are freshmen. I think maybe if he would have written in the little comment section of the course description what he told us today he might not have had that problem! So I am a little ticked about that. It's the first day of classes and you've already stressed out over half the class. Brilliant. My last class of the day isn't for another couple of hours so maybe I will add on after I get out of that class. Tomorrow my classes don't begin until 11:00 am which is somewhat of a relief I suppose. Tomorrow I have Biology and Anthropology. This semester I'm pretty much taking History classes and Biology. I'm hoping to do better this semester... I'll edit this post after my POLS class.

POST POLS CLASS:
So I'm really excited for this POLS class. The professor is hysterical. To begin the semester he told us a little bit about himself and his family. Throughout his introduction he cracked jokes also warning us that he has a sick sense of humor, which indeed he does. I love it. He cracked some short jokes first and then went on to note that reading "the POLS book does not read like a normal book, or 50 Shades of Grey." He then commented that he had not read the book yet receiving replies such as "Don't read it!"

His rebuttal? "If I learn something from that book that I did not know before, it must be perverted." The class responded with laughter and a few hesitant chuckles to which he stated "hey, when you get to my age..." he trailed off and got back on topic. 

This semester should be rather interesting and hopefully an improvement even though apparently Texas History will be 'difficult' for freshmen.

I'm a teenager.
I'm a college student.
I'm back in class.
I wrote this on my phone.

I'm just your average girl.

When I grow up I want to...

Well, starting college has made it all very real that in 4-5 short, but seemingly long years I will be looking for a career to keep for quite a while. The only thing is, right now, I'm still not exactly 100 percent sure of what I want to pursue! It is quite the dilemma! Over the years I have come to absolutely love and enjoy art. I like to experiment with new mediums and styles and use my imagination. It is the best stress reliever I have ever discovered. However, if I chose to pursue art as a career there is a chance that I could lose that enjoyment for what I absolutely love. I'd be forced to draw and design along with having stressful deadlines rather than doing it at my own will. A nightmare that I never want to live through. I have thought about doing art on the side, definitely. I could do it when I feel like it around my new schedule and still enjoy it. 

On the other hand I have fire fighting. "Completely random" you say, I know, but it is not random at all. I grew up with the fire station as my second home. My father was a fire fighter for 22 years. He stopped for a while and now is planning to get back into it. I have found a distinct fascination with fire and being a part of the fire department. I am a very team oriented person. I work well with teammates and being on a fire fighting crew that is an extremely important necessity. It also allows me to still be that tough kid I always have been. I have been discussing with my parents who have supported me in my decision to volunteer at the fire department over the summer to try it out and see if that is really what I want to do or if it would be better off if it was a hobby or not done at all. I know that I will get shit for being a female in the fire department as it is a mostly male profession. So what? I enjoy breaking boundaries. Not to mention the satisfaction one receives after saving a life or something so intimate to someone as a home. It makes you feel worth while and like you're doing something useful. It is going to be a lot of hard work, I will have to start running this semester and getting back into shape. Even more so than I did for softball, but I can't help but want to do this. My brother and his wife will try to talk me out of it, I know they will. 

Choosing a career is hard, I know many new college students are worrying about it just as much if not more than me. Freshman and maybe the beginning of sophomore year of college is for you! It is for you to realize and find what you are good at and what you want to pursue! Experiment with your courses! Take a class you may not normally take! Take the ones that just sound interesting! Just try not to become a professional student, that can get a little pricy.  ;)

I'm a teenager
I'm a college student
I'm trying to figure out my career
I want to do a man's job

I'm just your average girl.